Who in the world am I?

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.”

-Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland 

“Finding yourself” is a theme present in almost every coming of age story I've seen. Some, like An Abundance of Katherines, Paper Towns or Going Bovine demonstrate a dramatic cross-country road trip as the best way to find yourself. Holling's older sister Heather in The Wednesday Wars ran to California to find herself, and Colby in The Disenchantments traveled from San Francisco to Portland, and then throughout Europe, in an attempt to discover who he was. Lindsey Weir in Freaks & Geeks set off to follow the Grateful Dead to Texas in a VW bus (although we never learn if she really did find herself during that trip, because the show was canceled before the next season - but that's a post for another day!).  

In A Beginner's Guide to Living, one of my favorite books, Will is deliberately attempting to learn about himself, to find something so true he would live or die for it - he is aware of his journey, but he doesn't know where's he's going or what he will discover when he eventually gets there. 

Even more commonly, however, the self discovery process seems almost incidental. The protagonists of The Catcher in the Rye, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Old School, and Looking for Alaska aren't specifically trying to embark on a transcendent journey of awakening self awareness - they're just teenagers feeling lost and alone and trying to understand how they fit into the world.  

It's not just teenagers who want to discover who they are, though. The thought that we don't necessarily know ourselves is a pervading theme throughout almost all literature, and thousands of self-help books claim to help you discover your "true self." Bob Marley said that "When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself," and just googling self discovery will lead you to pages suggesting anything from meditation and religion to beauty pageants, kayak trips and group retreats.

In All the King's Men (a political novel which definitely had some self-discovery elements), the narrator, Jack, says “They say you are not you except in terms of relation to other people. If there weren't any other people there wouldn't be any you because what you do, which is what you are, only has meaning in relation to other people.” Similarly, Mahatma Gandhi said that “the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” 

Dorothy Parker disagrees, writing:

“In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you.”     

Trusting others to define you never leads to real self awareness. In Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man, the narrator says: "All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naive. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: That I am nobody but myself.” 

In the end, no amount of books or quotes or sayings (or even blog posts) can help you find yourself - but they can provide you with inspiration throughout your own journey.

~Maya

The Electric Lady by Janelle Monae

The Electric Lady by Janelle Monae

For those of you who have been having a good new music drought (like I have), I finally have something for you to listen to!  

I'd been hearing a lot of buzz about Janelle Monae lately, but I hadn't really paid much attention to it until I heard a preview of her album online a few days ago.  I was very impressed and today the album came out and I gave it a listen.

The album begins with Suite IV Electric Overture, an short instrumental piece whose instrumentation ranges from classical instruments to electric guitars to a choir, recalling a 60's jazzy sound. The song flows directly into the next track,  Givin Em What They Love, so much that at first I didn't realize the first one was over. This song features Prince and begins with a percussive opening, leads into some amazing powerhouse vocals from Monae, and exits on an orchestral note similar to the first track.  Apart from a few verses, Prince mostly keeps to backing vocals.  This song flows into Q.U.E.E.N. featuring Erykah Badu, which from its fun, funk feel to the great, feminist lyrics ("tell me what's the price of fame/Am I a sinner with my skirt on the ground", "are we a lost generation of our people/Add us to equations that will never make us equal") is my absolute favorite on this album.  It flowed right into The Electric Lady featuring Solange, which is neck-and-neck for the spot of my favorite with the previous track.  This one has a great dance-y feel to it to match its funny, slightly dirty, yet still girl-empowering lyrics ("she can fly you straight to the moon or to the ghettos/wearing tennis shoes or in flats or stilletos").  While this one doesn't have the same jazzy feel of Q.U.E.E.N., it includes a retro rhythmic style and brass section. 

Throughout the whole album the strong jazz and funk tones remained, like in Dance Apocalyptic, which presented a very retro, funk vibe to it, along with Look Into My Eyes. This one is another favorite of mine, with its very Spanish jazz sound and Monae's spectacular vocals.  The same sound can be heard in the next track, Suite V Electric Overture, another instrumental, but a much more prominently jazz sound than the first. Those same jazz vibes were present in Dorothy Dandridge Eyes featuring Esperanza Spalding, a fun, smooth jazzy song that brought in Spalding's style.  The album closed out with What an Experience, a very Michael Jackson-like song, with 80s vibes and a smooth ending to a great album as the music fades away.

Apart from the jazzy dance songs, there are a few slower and balladlike songs, such as Primetime featuring Miguel, It's Code, Ghetto Woman, Victory and Can't Live Without Your Love. Though they were slower and sadder songs with powerful lyrics, like Victory's: "surrounded by the schemes and senseless lives/and blaming others, feeling victimized/oh tomorrow, one day they'll know/to win you'll have to lose all the things you know."  They maintained her individualized sound with the strong vocals, orchestral and choir backup and the slight jazzy feel.  While they often could easily have been written out in the 60's, there were clear Jackson 5 influences in the vocal style and structure of the song.  Ghetto Woman went back to a faster speed but with a similar style to the last song with huge Michael Jackson and Prince influenced sound.  The only song that I didn't really like was We Were Rock & Roll. This one was not as strong as the others, from the lyrics to the more poppy sound and almost disco vibe to it, save the bridge, which includes a choral breakdown and guitar solo. 

The album includes three interludes, including Good Morning Midnight, The Chrome Shoppe, and Our Favorite Fugitive.  They were pretty weird - in fact, at first I thought they were Spotify advertisements - because they are backup music with dialogue over it that sounds like radio station.  However, upon closer listening, you can still hear Monae's style shining through as the first one closes with "Love not war, we're tired of fires, quiet no riots, we are jamming, dancing and loving.  Don't throw no rock, don't break no glass, just shake yo ass."  They could easily have been commercials on an old radio station.  

Separate from the music, the album addresses social issues using the excuse of telling the story of a fantastic world of Metropolis, full of androids and zombies (hence the title, electric ladies).  Using this concept, Monae tackles heavy topics like gender, race, and sexuality in a context apart from our own.  In one of the interludes, a caller rants, saying "robot love is queer!" The D.J. responds to him with laughter and the question "well, what I wanna know is how you know it's queer if you haven't tried it!"  In Q.U.E.E.N., her lyrics ask "say, will your God accept me in my black and white?/will he approve the way I'm made?/or should I reprogram, deprogram, and get down?" Monae raises discussion about issues without them seeming forced or angry.  She's feminist, a civil rights activist, opinionated and yet still approachable without the messages being shoved in your face.

All in all, I give this album a big thumbs up.  I haven't heard an artist with a sound much like this before.  It's new and modern while still recalling very retro sounds, from 60's-esque jazz, to the Motown style of the Jackson 5, to the good 80's pop of Michael Jackson and Prince, and even classical music with its near constant orchestral backup.  It was extremely cohesive in a way I haven't heard anyone pull off so well ever before.  While it didn't have an exact shape but flows like a classical piece with a big opening, high points scattered throughout the piece, and a quiet ending.  I would definitely recommend buying this album.  Monae is right - what an experience.

Sometimes being a fangirl isn't fun.

When we heard that fun. was coming to ACL this year, this was us.

  

Excitement turned to disappointment when we, two totally broke teenagers, saw the prices of wristbands. $225? Do they understand how many hours of babysitting that is?! But then hope shone again - we heard that they were going to do a taping for ACL Live.  So we were back to this.

Awww yeah.

 We entered the contest for tickets, and so did our parents, and our brothers, and we convinced our uncles and friends and grandmothers and strangers we met on the street to enter too, hoping that someone would take us along. We waited, with bated breath, for four days. Every time a fun. song came on the radio, it felt like an omen. But then it was announced - the tickets had been emailed. We rushed to our computers, salivating slightly.

We're disappointed too, Nate.

We went out on the town, throwing stones at people's windows, as soon as we heard we didn't get the tickets. This is really happening? We wanted to be the one to win the tickets. We felt like we were breaking down. We wanted to set the world on fire! We are young, and now we need someone to carry us home because we're losing our minds - we think it's for real this time.*

We don't know why we didn't win the tickets, because we would do just about anything for them.  Maybe even...

1. Paint ourselves head to toe in paint and walk all the dogs at Austin Pets Alive!

Maybe even pooper scoop, too.

 2. Watch all of twilight movies back to back...three times in a row.

Emotional range of a teaspoon.

3. Hold hands with our dads while singing and dancing to high school musical songs in public.

I'm the cool dad, that's my thang.

4. Babysit Veruca Salt for a week for free.

She could probably afford a wristband.

5. Wear this shirt around Austin.

Did you know we're homeschooled?

Would anyone else go to these lengths for the love of music?

-Maya & Simone

*Can anybody else identify all of these song lyrics? Comment with your answers.

P.S.  Further proof of our love (obsession): 4422739462 fun. pins.

Things That I've Been Loving Lately/How To Procrastinate More

Random things I've been interested in lately

Spoken word - like this one, which went viral, or this one.  (Accent bonus for both of those.)

Daily Odd Compliments.

Weird websites that help you on bad days or just to procrastinate.
Here is Today - a website that puts you in perspective, first for the month, then the year, then this century, etc.
Tonematrix - a big column of squares that each represent a pitch that allows you to make fun little jingles.
Eel Slap! - slap a guy's face with an eel. Over and over again.  (Oh, internet....)
Cat Bounce - watch cats bounce by with colored backgrounds that change as you watch. (Again: oh, internet....)
The Opportunity Mars Rover - explore mars in a panorama.

Videos I could watch over and over again.
Dave Franco trying to interview James Franco.  Underline on trying, as they can't stop laughing enough to actually allow Dave to ask any questions.  It's hard to explain the adorableness that goes on in this video, so you should just watch it.
Jennifer Lawrence's funny moments.  She's just awesome.  And there are now six or seven parts expanding on this one.
I somehow missed Bruno Mars hosting SNL last year and just recently watched this skit.  Here he impersonates famous musicians and it's spot on and hilarious.
Your Grammar Sucks videos by Jacksfilms. He has his subscribers send in screenshots of comments on websites that have horribly incorrect grammar or spelling and reads them aloud. There are almost 60 of these now and are amazing time-wasting videos. This one is his 50th one and as celebration he includes lots of other youtubers in a 20 minute long special.


Me being so on top of the times, I finally got a twitter last week.  Here are some awesome accounts you should consider stalking.
Bruno Mars -  he actually writes on it, not a manager, and it is hilarious.
Tyler Oakley - probably the only youtuber that is followed by Barack Obama, Jimmy Fallon, Ellen DeGeneres, and John Green.
Stephen Colbert - because, well, it's Colbert.
Seinfeld Today - what would happen in Seinfeld was still on air.
Conan O'Brien - so. Freaking. Funny.
Big Ben Clock - just look at it, ok?

~Simone

I'm Homeschooled.

I love being homeschooled. I get to work five hours a day and hang out with friends for the rest. We all know each other, we're a pretty open minded group of kids - people don't have to hang out only with kids their age, and you're totally allowed to be weird and different. Even so, we (mostly) manage to act pretty normal and blend into crowds. But I do have to admit, there are some things homeschoolers do that just flat-out say: I am homeschooled. Here are the top twenty things that we do.

You know you're a homeschooler when...

1.  You average 50 field trips a year, granted that some of them are the nature walks in your greenbelt.

2.  You come to school in your PJs.

3.  You can quote the entire Princess Bride.

4.  When people ask what grade you are in, you have to think for a second before answering...and your answer varies depending on what subject you were just doing.

5.  The word "Saxon" brings you thrills of fear.

6.  Some years you do end up doing school in the summer, but it's usually just because you took a month long trip around the country while everyone else was in school.

7.  Your friends range from being way older to way younger than you are.

8.  Your locker is just a shelf in your bedroom.

9.  Lunch break is whenever you want it to be.

10.  Your social life is about as eventful as a monk's.  With the exception of your co-ops, of course!

11.  You've never gotten a real report card before.

12.  You actually enjoy reading and probably read more books in a month then most kids do in a year.

13.  When you're at a summer camp or something similar with lots of people you don't know and somebody says they are homeschooled, you are instant best friends.

14.  You probably are a nerdfighter.

15.  You judge distance of car rides by how many episodes of Mythbusters (your science 

course) it will take to get there.

16. Sometimes you wonder what going to "real school" would be like.

17.  When you see people getting on and off the school bus you sometimes make fun of them a little bit.

18.  Chores are on your school schedule.

19.   Every once and a while, you still actually use e-mail to communicate with people.

20.  And yet, you still actually act like a regular human being who is in touch with the universe most of the time.  People sometimes actually act surprised when you tell them you're homeschooled.

       Hello everyone! Sorry about my lax posting (or rather, my lack of posting), I've been sick and on vacation and everything else. Here are some funky pictures taken in my own kitchen a few minutes ago!

Sometimes foods just call out to you. Potatoes of any kind retain their subtle siren song.

 Water...Fork...Water...Fork. Bronze!

 These are purely for display. And attempt to eat them will be met with death in Gitmo.

 For a moment, pretend that the toaster cord is the outline of a new fruit, or a loaf of bread going off the upper left corner.

I've never been in a microwave before, but those who have tell me its a hot attraction.

That's when I eat them.

-Julius

Happy Labor Day!

'Murica.