Thursday: Interview!

Today, I have three very special guests I will be interviewing.  Their names are ... (drumroll please!) ... Adair and Maya along with a fellow friend and writer Simon!  I will be asking them 25 questions that start out average and end very ridiculous interview questions.  Oh, and this is only called an interview for the sake of ease - this is more like a answer-twenty-five-weird-questions-really-fast-game.  For each question, they have to answer the first thing that pops into their head, and you only have 30 seconds of time allotted to answer each question.  Hope you enjoy!


1.  S:  What do a raven and a writing desk have in common?
A:  I'm gonna say...many things.
S: They both see a lot of crap.
M:  They both have legs.  Unless the raven doesn't have legs.

2. S:  Make up a tongue twister.
A: Little yellow lotion lamp!
S:   Creepy cats crap caps.
M:  Tongue twister twisting tongue tylenol twitter twisted ... twice.  That's it!

3.  S:  Pick two celebrities to be your new parents.

A:  Honey Boo Boo and...yeah single mom.
S:  Lindsey Stirling  and J. K. Rowling.

M:  Jennifer Lawrence and...that's it.  I can have a single mom.

4.  S:  What is one book everyone should read?

A:  Either The Book Thief by Zusak or the Fault in our Stars by John Green.
S:  Dr.  Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Stevenson.

M:  The Book Thief by Zusak.

5.  S: If you were a superhero what would your power and name be?

A: I would be able to boil water without having to wait for it!  I would Water Woman!
S: That I could teleport to a timeless version of this world with no people.  Superintrovert!

M:  I would be the person with the ability to turn cats into people and people into cats and I would be named Minerva.  No, Super Minerva!  No Minerva the Super!

6.  S: If you could meet one person who has died who would you choose?

A:  Simone! (pretends to shoot me)
S:  Mark Twain.

M:  Anne Frank.

7.  S:  One food you would never eat?

A:  Fried cat tail.
S: Vampire tonsils.

M:  Sardines.

8. S:  Pet peeves? 

A: When people leave the toilet paper so it goes backwards instead of forwards!!
S: I have two pet peeves: their names are Nathan and Truman.  (His younger brothers.)

M:  People who chew really loudly! And people that spit gum out on the sidewalk! And people who annoy me!

9. S: What you're most likely to do when your parents aren't home?
A: Dance around the house listening to crazy music and eat chips to my heart's content. 
S.  Just play piano.
M:  Dance party! And just be really really loud and yell at the cats.

10.  S: Is there a song you could list say is the theme song for your favorite book or any of the characters? 
A:  Only Exception by Paramore for Hazel Grace.
S. The Lord of the Rings theme song with...the bible.  Yeah.
M:  Whoa...um, Still Into You by Paramore reminds you of Why We Broke Up by Handler.  Or F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X. reminds me of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

11.  S:  Favorite body part?
A:  Eyelashes.
S. I don't know...eyes are nice.  Or hands. No, feet.
M:  Whoooaa!  (cackles) I like people's...hands...or toes...no, eyes.  

12.  S:  All of the sudden, you've developed virtuoso level guitar skills and every band in the world wants you to join.  What band do you pick?
A: Paramore!
S. I'm starting my own band!  They can join mine.
M:  PARAMORE!! or Fun.  NO Paramore.

13.  S: Favorite youtube video ever?

A:  How To Be a Bad....Rap...Artist*.  By Tyler Oakley.
S. The Adventures of Little Cthulhu

M:  Anything by Joey Graceffa.  Or Danisnotonfire.

14.  S:  If you were a giraffe, whose window would you stick your head in at 2 am?

A:  Ummm!  Yours!
S. Probably Obama.

M:  Wow.  Um...Liam Hemsworth.

15.  S: If you could get rid of one state in the U.S., which would it be and why?
A:  Indiana!  (Last year, Maya attempted to move there.  But we dragged her back.)
S. Probably Kansas.
M:  Arkansas! Because it is the worst place to drive through ever!  And the gas stations are gross!  And because it's ugly!  

16.  S: What song best describes your work ethic?
A:  Brahm's lullaby....
S. At church, we have this one hymn that's called "Here Comes the Ox Ride...."  (sings deathly slow, deep song)
M: Take a Walk by Passion Pit!  Because when I'm working I want to just go on a walk instead.

17.  S: If you could invite any 5 people to dinner who would you choose?

A:  Obama, the Queen, my cat, Grace Helbig, and Joey Graceffa.
S. The bunnies of Watership Down, people from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, from the Iliad and the Odyssey, and Adair's cat.

M: J.K. Rowling,  Jennifer Lawrence, Joey Graceffa, Shakespeare, and David Sedaris.

18.  S: If you could be anyone else, who would it be?
A:  Somebody with a British accent.
S. One of my good friends.  Because we're already, like, evil twins.
M:  Ooooo!  Maybe Hayley Williams.  Maybe.

19.  S: Sell me this glass of water.
A:  Would you like it half empty or half full?
S.  It's the quenchiest!
M:  Ok, this is a refreshing elixer that looks like it could be vodka but is a lot better for you!  And it's clear and delicious and you can put colors in it (but that's a little weird!) and you can have it for the low low price of $99!

20.  S:  Say you are dead — what would your eulogy say about you?

A: That she loved her cat very much.
S.I wouldn't really care..because I would be dead.

M: The eulogy from the Fault in our Stars.   Isaac's.  That was the saddest thing in the world.

21.  S: If you were a salad, what kind of dressing would you have? 
A:  A thousand island dressing.  I don't know what it tastes like, I've never had it before...it just sounds good.
S. Poison sauce.
M:  Ranch! Because, imagine swimming in ranch....

22.  S:  Please spell appoggiatura.
A:  O-p-p-p-a-g-h-s-h-i-t-o-o-r-u-h
S: A-p-p-o-e-a-u-g-h-x-d-g-e-t-o-r-e-u-h-x.
M:   What?!  A-p-o-s-h-i-t-e-r-a!

23. S:  Describe yourself in three words.
A:  Moose, llama, duck
S: Calculating, evasive, deceptive
M:  Crazy, insane, and...crazy

24.  S:  If you were shrunk to the size of a pencil and put in a blender, how would you get out?
A:  Ermm...stop imagining!
S:  Pureed.
M:  I think that I would hold on really tight to the blades and get spun around and then, like, the friction from my feet would spin me out.  Obviously.

25.   S: A penguin walks through that door right now wearing a sombrero. What does he say and why is he here?
A:  He's the penguin from Happy Feet on a vacation.  In Mexico.  And he says "adios, amigos!"
S:  He's here because we forgot to invite him, and he doesn't say anything.  He's a mute penguin.
M:  He's here because of global warming and there is no more ice to live on and he would like an oreo because the oreo is his long lost cousin.  And he says "smile and wave, boys!" like from Madagascar.

~Simone


P.S.  Special thanks to Simon for being part of this interview!
P.P.S.  Maya wants to have me note her apology for being such a weird human being. 
*NOT the real name.