Could it just be possible that I'm a failure?

With New Year's just around the corner, I've started looking back at what I've done this year. And.... I have to admit, I'm disappointed. Sure, I moved, I mourned my grandma at the one year marker of her passing, I took a PSAT, finished a book that I've been writing for ages; but in the short wrinkle of the Earth that is my life, what does that boil down to? Nothing. I didn't cure cancer, I didn't fight man-eating alligators, I didn't even go on a vacation. I did the equivalent of sitting on my butt picking my nose.

So that got me to thinking, what really defines whether what I've done is nothing or not? After some deep thinking, meaning around five minutes of thinking while I was laying in bed avoiding school, I realized a harsh truth. My biggest critic is myself. I'm not in a competition as to who can have the best life, I'm not being judged by my lack of enthralling feats. My own standards are higher than anyone else's for myself. Really. I am setting impossible standards for myself. I'm setting myself up to fail.

When I ran my first half marathon back in January, I finished it, I was proud, but I wanted to do more. I wanted to run a full marathon. So I trained for a full, but didn't meet the age requirements, so I ran another half. Still not enough, so now I'm training for a triathlon. While everyone was goggling at my feat, I was pushing myself more. To be the best. But I didn't know what I was trying to be the best at.

But really, can always pushing myself make me happy? Suddenly, I grasped that "nothing"  was really something. The "nothings"  might not have spread around the world, but to me, they were bigger than anything. My move taught me not to take family and friends for granted. My Grandma's year of passing taught me that someone can always be with a person, physically or not. The PSAT taught me that I am up against myself academically, and that with hard work, I can do anything I set my mind on.

I need to focus on having the life that I want for me. Not what I want because I think that other people want it for me. I'm going to read cheesy books, watch terrible TV, sing to Paramore, run my triathlon for fun, and be myself. I'm going to enjoy my friends before we all go to college. That means eating raw cookie dough, getting drunk on Sprite, trying to twerk, listening to Wrecking Ball, and doing whatever else I want to. I'm living life to the fullest, my way. And if you don't like it, sue me.

~Persephone

Top 10 Concerts of 2013

In celebration of the end of the year, I decided to make a quick ranking of the ten best concerts that I saw this year. Please note that the top 5 or 6 are all equally great in very different ways, so don't worry too much about the exact ranking of those. I would absolutely love to see all of them again. This kind of applies to the rest of the list, too. Also keep in mind that I tried my best to rank this objectively, without the bias of who my personal favorites are (though I ranked them that way as well in each summary).  They've all been so different that it's extremely difficult to rank them. I mean, come on, they range from Bruno Mars to Dan Croll. But without further ado, here are the top 10 concerts of 2013.


1. Bruno Mars


Overall: Booming stage pyrotechnics, lots of dancing, an amazingly cohesive set, an awesome backup band, great singing, fantastic playing and overall the best show I have ever seen. The feeling of awe I had after seeing it is one that I will remember forever. 
Favorite ranking: 3
Standout factor: Bruno Mars can appeal to basically anyone, from his Prince-like sexy talk, to the James Brown dancing while nailing his hit songs, leading a hugely energetic nine-piece band and playing a mean drum solo. He doesn't have to be able to dance, play guitar, play drums, write awesome songs, and sing amazingly. But he does.
Award: Best Banter Ever/Best Male Singer/Most Adorable Thing Ever/Most Cohesive Show of All Time/Best Arena Performance

2. Janelle Monae


Overall: Like Bruno Mars, an amazingly cohesive show, a great backup band, and great singing are very memorable, though Monae added plenty of additional drama with the Electric Lady and the sci-fi aspects of the show. Her energy and excitement were infectious.
Favorite ranking: 1
Standout factor: Monae is basically a female Prince...need I say more?
Award: Best Female Artist/Best Performance

3. Muse


Overall: The one and only reason that this wasn't the number best concert that I've been to was because the generator blew out twice, leaving the audience to wait for 30 minutes in between songs. Even so, it was one of the best shows I'll probably ever see. Everything about it screamed virtuosity and going to see them is something that everyone should experience at least once.
Favorite ranking: 5
Standout factor: Absolutely insane playing all around. I didn't even know it was possible to do some of the techniques Bellamy does and I definitely don't know how he can make so many different sounds come out of one instrument.
Award: Most Face-Melting Solos

4.  Arctic Monkeys 


Overall: Like Muse, these guys aren't in one of the top spots only for reasons that aren't their fault at all. Going into this concert, I hadn't really heard their music before (to be honest, I just liked their name) and because of that, I didn't fight for a spot at all. Subsequently, I was about 7 million rows back from the stage. However, going totally paid off because seeing it made me completely fall in love with their music. I haven't stopped listening to it and praying that they will come back around to Austin since. Their charisma and honesty shone in their playing and there's no denying that they, and especially frontman Alex Turner, are very talented. Also, I didn't really know where to fit this in but I felt like something needed to be said of Alex Turner's dancing.
Favorite ranking: 4
Standout factor: Like the Black Keys, I think their music could appeal to a lot of different people without having to be really poppy. It's complicated, interesting, and different music that requires talent to play while being really fun to listen to. 
Award: Best Accents/Best New Album

5. Paramore


Overall: Absolute greatness. From the beginning to the end, I didn't stop smiling and shouting along the words. I don't think anyone else in the world can work a crowd like singer-songwriter Hayley Williams. Their joy and excitement were infectious but not over-the top and their genuineness and honesty shone through the whole time. "Your passion, it's stupid and incredible." Hayley's singing is about as close to flawless as you can get (even while she ran across the stage/headbanged/danced) and the other bandmembers also brought in plenty of energy. 
Favorite ranking: 2
Standout factor: Hayley Williams' existence 
Award: Most Energy/Best Back Flip While Playing/Best Female Singer

6. Vampire Weekend


Overall: Like Arctic Monkeys, I didn't really fight for a spot at this show, which meant that I was a zillion miles away from the stage. And trust me, I will regret those decisions for the rest of my life. Even so, this concert was great and sent me immediately buying Modern Vampires of the City (fantastic album, by the way). They were very charming and great players and I just bought tickets to see them again at Stubbs. 
Favorite ranking: 7
Standout factor: Their music has a distinctive happy and fun sound, but doesn't lose any quality even so.
Award: Happiest Music/Most Likely to Randomly Wear a Flight Suit

7. Fun.


Overall: As anyone who has been reading the blog for a while now will know, I'm a pretty big fun. fan. So this concert was really, really exciting for me. But once I had wiped my tears, it was still a great concert. Both the band and the audience never stopped grinning the whole time and singer-songwriter Nate Ruess mentioned how excited he was to play at ACL maybe five times and seemed genuinely excited. The best part about this band really was the chemistry between the bandmates, from the way they were messing with each other, trying to shove and distract each other and make each other laugh and just the attitude on a whole.
Favorite ranking: 6
Standout factor: Genuine, honest excitement about being able to play and fantastic group chemistry between the band members.
Award: Best Chemistry/Most Excited Band Ever

8. Kings of Leon


Overall: Like several other bands on this list, you have to go see them for yourself to really understand. But they are all fantastic players and performers and their music was fun to dance to. There were a lot of hardcore fans shouting along to every song, but they weren't judgmental of those who didn't know all of their songs and all-in-all a nice crowd. 
Favorite ranking: 9
Standout factor: Really talented players and a great singer, good bluesy rock music that didn't sound exactly like everyone else.
Award: Best Bluesy Music

9. Haim


Overall: Despite the horrifically unforgiving heat of ACL, these girls completely blew me away. When I went, I just knew a couple songs because I heard a lot of buzz about them after SXSW. I thought I would just go and see how they were. Little did I know what a good show I was in for. From their stage presence to their great playing, to their unique music, to their style and 'take it or leave it' personalities that shone through, I would definitely go see them again.
Favorite ranking: 8
Standout factor: Three strong women who all play their instruments, sing, and write their own music and are great at what they do.
Award: Coolest Girls Ever/Best Band of Siblings Ever

10. Dan Croll


Overall: He was so humble, charismatic, and adorably British, marveling at the size of his (admittedly not very large) crowd. It was a nice, relaxed concert and his music was simple and pretty. Behind round black framed glasses, Croll's golden voice shone over Afrobeat percussion and shimmering guitars, coming together to form a set of upbeat love songs.
Favorite ranking: 10
Standout factor: Sweet, laid-back indie rock music that wasn't boring to listen to.
Award: Summeriest Music/Most Stoners Ever Gathered in One Place

~Simone

All I want for Christmas...

'Tis the season.

Merry Christmas!

-Julius
nonsenseuncommon@gmail.com

Fangirl

I have delved into the dark realm of fanfiction precisely twice. The first time was satisfactory: I read a short, tasteful story that wrapped up some loose ends in the original work. The second time, however, was ... how shall I put this ... terrifying, horrifying, petrifying, and awful. It included descriptions like "ebony-haired companion" and "the flames of trauma flickered in his deep blue eyes." I swiftly swore off fanfic for life and decided that all of it was awful, no matter what.

This was partially because of my bad experience, but also because of the - mostly undeserved - bad reputation that fanfiction has garnered. On the internet, anything goes, so a two-page alternate ending to a popular movie can find its home right alongside a three-thousand-page, vaguely pornographic tome featuring Hermione Granger and the giant squid.

Then, too, fanfiction has effectively been relegated to the dark corners of the internet, banished to obsessively-updated tumblrs and sub-sub-sub-reddits. And, of course, 50 Shades of Gray.

A fangirl, though - that's something slightly more accessible. According to urbandictionary, a fangirl is "a rabid breed of human female who is obsessed with either a fictional character or an actor." Fangirls have been around for decades - the Beatles' fan base was primarily made of fangirls, and actors have had fangirls since the beginning of time.

Although fangirl began as a derogatory term for a screaming boy-band fanatic, it has grown to encompass, well, pretty much everybody on the internet. We all have that one thing that we obsess over, think about in our spare time, watch endless gifs of, drool over, dream about ... or at least something that we're mildly invested in.

Often, fangirls and fanfiction go hand in hand. Really, it's the logical next step - if you're interested in something enough to label yourself a fangirl, you probably feel pretty strongly about it and have a general idea of how you'd like it to turn out, or a favorite part you'd like to commemorate, whether it's from a novel or a web series or a TV show or a band. Your interest can then lead you to create an alternate version of the story, or to tell the same events from a different perspective, or to continue the story after its official conclusion.

Rainbow Rowell (author of Eleanor & Park), wrote Fangirl, one of the first novels to focus on - or even mention - fanfiction.

Fanfiction itself isn't a new phenomenon - stories have been retold and rewritten for centuries (for instance, Romeo and Juliet is a slightly altered version of an old folk tale), and authors naturally draw inspiration from other works when creating their own. Fanfiction was only really popularized, however, after the Star Trek fan community began publishing fanfictions in their fanzines in the the 60s, and since then it has been slowly gaining acceptance and approval. Now it's rare to find a TV show, book, or youtube channel that doesn't have entire websites devoted to its fanfiction.

In my opinion, fanfiction itself isn't bad. Writing is, of course, a way to express yourself, and if the best way to do that is to write about characters or people that already exist, I don't really see anything wrong. Like anything on the internet, however, fanfiction has a dark side, which is usually what's focused on when discussing it: it uses characters that someone else has created, it can infringe on copyright, and sometimes it's just downright creepy. If you write fanfiction, all you need to do is upload it to a blog or website and then anyone can read it, so there's no quality control or guarantee that it will be well-written or true to the original book or show. (So if you're going to venture into the world of fanfiction, just be careful!)

Fangirl does a great job exploring how perceptions of fanfiction can differ. The main character, Cath is a painfully introverted girl who - unwillingly - is starting college. She and her twin sister, Wren, have been close their whole lives, and shared an obsession of Simon Snow (the most popular book series in her world - basically a combination of Twilight, Harry Potter, and Magyk). Together, they began writing and publishing fanfiction, and though Wren grew away from the community, Cath is still just as heavily invested, and now has thousands of followers eagerly awaiting every new post. This year, however, Wren wants to set off on her own. She gets a dorm across campus, signs up for all new classes, and parties every night, while Cath huddles over her computer to write the next installment of her Simon Snow fanfiction.

Cath's literature professor hates it, condemning it as plagiarism, other people at her college look down on it as nerdy or pointless, while Cath herself - and her thousands of online followers - sees it as an artistic means of self-expression, satisfying both her need to create her own stories and her need to read someone else's. 

Along with the pressure to finish her fic before the eight and final Simon Snow book is released, the absence of her sister, the stress of her new classes and her paralyzing awkwardness (for example, she ate only protein bars for over a month because she didn't want to ask anyone where the dining hall was), Cath also must deal with her surly and intimidating roommate, Reagan, and Reagan's sort-of-boyfriend Levi who's always hanging around.

Reagan was probably my favorite character in this book: she was tough and had a strong personality and didn't really care what anyone thought of her. Although at first she seemed almost mean, her unapologetic, take-it-or-leave-it stance on life made her a more of a likeable character than anyone else.

Levi seemed like a dream boy at first: he was relaxed and laid-back, and from the beginning he seemed almost ridiculously kind. He did his best to make sure that everyone was happy and comfortable, and went out of his way to brighten the day of anyone who crossed his path.

He and Cath slowly grew together, and became good friends before he finally kissed her. This marked the first time Cath has ever kissed anyone who meant something to her - so when she goes to her first party the next night and sees Levi kissing another girl, she's heartbroken.

Her reaction, however, seemed way too strong for what is really such a minor event. She completely stopped speaking to him, refused to even look at him, and avoided him for weeks. Cath and Levi hadn't even been together at the time, but she still viewed it as a complete betrayal.

Even when they finally worked through their difficulties and began dating, her concern remained. Throughout the rest of the book she kept referring to the incident, and it took Levi an unbelievably long time to gain back her trust. Although the slow, careful romance in Eleanor & Park was believable and endearing, Cath and Levi's romance seemed overly drawn out, unrealistic, and even prudish. They dated for months before Cath so much as held Levi's hand, let alone kissed him - and though the expectation is what kept me reading Eleanor & Park, this book seemed to drag out the shy-early-couple stages to the breaking point.

Despite this, I still couldn't put the book down. Rainbow is an incredible writer, and her portrayal of insecurity and awkwardness was completely realistic (and kind of terrifying). Even though I know that Cath is an extreme case, and I at least posses the social skills necessary to ask for food and water, as I began this book I was still crippled by the fear that my college experience would be similar. However, Rainbow carefully develops Cath from a painfully shy, miserable freshman to a slightly less shy, happier sophomore - not a Disney makeover by any means, but a realistic look at a college student's first experiences in the world.

Fangirl certainly wasn't as flawless as Eleanor & Park but the characters, plot, and excellent writing all contrived to make it a great book, and as one of the few novels that actively encourages fanfiction while still promoting original creativity, it's definitely worth reading.

-Maya

On The Failure That Was NaNoWriMo

Do you remember my post on how to cheat at NaNoWriMo? Well, I am now forced to tell you that absolutely none of those things worked. I finished with a little over 34,000 words - that's 16,000 words below the word count.

This may have had something to do with the fact that I didn't plan my book at all - I decided just to let my characters live their lives, which ended up with chapters and chapters of characters working on their own NaNoWriMo novel (art imitates life, right??). I intended this to be meta and thought-provoking, but actually it's just kind of boring.

My word-count failure also could have been because I now have significantly more school and homework than last year (and significantly less motivation). Or maybe it was because this year I didn't have a single main character - instead I focused on several different characters, and the way they interacted with each other, resulting in random, meaningless chapters with characters I didn't care about that didn't relate to the rest of the book at all. Or maybe it was because I was just lazy (probably that one).

Although I tried to write something every day, I didn't keep to the rigid 2,000+ words per day schedule that I followed last year. One weekend I wrote more than 7,000 words in one sitting, while last week I wrote barely 3,000 in five days. 

Honestly, though, I don't mind that I didn't finish. Last year's novel - which is really more like a pile of 50,000 words than a novel - is still sitting on my desktop, unopened since November 30, 2012. This lump of words will probably be gathering dust for the rest of its existence too - and that's okay. I'm still glad I wrote it, as terrible as it probably is, and I'm glad I wrote it last year too. I may never read either of them again, but at least I tried, and I got the experience. I'll probably do NaNoWriMo again next year, too, and spend my days feverishly writing words that no one will ever read.

It sounds pointless, even worthless, but writing something you know no one will see is kind of freeing. You have permission to write over-the-top dramatic scenes, or long reminiscences of your own life through another character's eyes, or just pages and pages describing an average event in a normal day, and your characters can be obvious copies of people you know or exaggerated versions of yourself and no one will be offended.

Plus, if you have no expectations for your writing to turn into the next Great American Novel, you can experiment with style and technique. For instance, in my almost-100-page "manuscript," I had 24 sections. Each section was completely different and unrelated to the others: although most featured similar characters and were set in the same small town (which was the original focus of my book), a few were letters or free-writes or cleverly disguised journal entries (in which the main character's name was "Aya." So subtle, right?). None of these sections are especially interesting or well-written, but they were fun to write, and they helped me learn more about what I like to write and what I hate. (I hate writing plot or conflict or drama. I like writing unrealistically self-aware and annoyingly self-obsessed characters).

NaNoWriMo provided a good jumping-off point for me, and the word count goal motivated me to start writing. Now it's up to me to keep writing without the incentive of a bar graph (that was pretty much the only incentive for me, but it was enough), keep improving, and - eventually - try to write something that someone else could read.

-Maya

Why The Vlogbrothers Are The Best People Ever

John and Hank Green are some of the most influential and important people of our time. John Green, of course, is an incredible, amazing, heartbreak-causing author, whose books have been on the New York Bestseller's list multiple times. You can tell he's made it because TFiOS (an abbreviation for his bestselling book The Fault in Our Stars) is preprogrammed into the smartphone dictionary. Oh yeah and also let's remember the time that President Obama (!!!) told John's baby to "not forget to be awesome," a catchphrase on John and Hank's channel. Hank is a musician, runs environmental website EcoGeek, and is involved with countless other projects, such as the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, Crash Course, and SciShow. Together, they have performed a sold out show at Carnegie hall, and at the time this post was published, their channel, vlogbrothers, had more than 1,600,000 subscribers.

Here's their basic vlogbrothers/nerdfighters FAQ video:

Through their channel, the vlogbrothers have created an online community of nerdfighters (who fight for nerds, not against them).

In general, the nerdfighter community - collectively referred to as nerdfighteria - is a very positive thing. Obviously it's a good example of reclaiming a previously derogatory term for empowerment - now, thanks to the vlogbrothers, being called a nerd is more a term of affection than an insult. Besides, nerds are actually pretty cool. As John says, "nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff...Nerds are allowed to love stuff, like jump-up-and-down-in-the-chair-can't-control-yourself love it. Hank, when people call people nerds, mostly what they're saying is 'you like stuff.' Which is just not a good insult at all. Like, 'you are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness.'"

Their channel has both kinds of nerds - Hank, the science nerd, and John, the word nerd. I like this because, as a complete book nerd who knows little to nothing about science or math, I sometimes find myself feeling almost  like a fake nerd. However, John and Hank are both incredibly intelligent and creative in very different ways.

My favorite thing about their channel is how inspiring their videos are, especially when it comes to learning. This is one of my all time favorite videos:

"Study broadly and without fear," John says. This is essentially the message you can take away from their channel - they encourage you to follow your passion, wherever it may lead you.

Hank Green continues with this train of thought in his poem to high school graduates, Grab It By The Testicle, encouraging suddenly purposeless former students to open up to new experiences, be good people, and live life fully.

Their channel ranges from funny to serious to political to historical to current events to ranting to inspiring and back again.

As anyone who has read this blog probably knows, we love a good rant, but no one can do the rant thing better than Hank Green.

However, Hank also addresses important, sensitive issues well, as in his video explaining human sexuality (here) and his video addressing marriage equality (here).

John and Hank are also involved with Crash Course, a Khan-Academy-esque channel with weekly video installments on different topics. So far, the courses provided include World History, Chemistry, Ecology, Biology, and Literature.

Predictably, the mini-series on literature is my favorite. In his intro to the course, John explains that basically, whether the author intended the symbolism to exist or not, it's there, and if the reader finds it and learns from it then they have succeeded. His videos not only explain metaphors and imagery in the book, but also explain why they continue to be relevant and important. 

Another example of this is John's video Existential Airport Anxiety, a video discussing the increasing parallels between our modern life and Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451, and the feeling of not being listened to, which is so common both on the internet and in real life.

As if their thought-provoking videos and inspiring careers weren't enough, both brothers are both heavily involved with charity work, and they spearhead Project for Awesome, a campaign which encourages other youtubers to make videos either benefiting or advocating different charities. John, Hank, and their thousands of viewers then promote the videos and raise money for the charities. Last year, the nerdfighter community raised over $400,000 and ten charities were granted $40,500 each. 

Although the language used in some of their vlogs can feel a bit cliche and overdone ("DECREASING WORLDSUCK BY THE POWER OF AWESOME"), I have to remind myself that they started this whole awesome "awesome" trend, so if anyone has the right to use the adjective awesome as a noun, it's them.

After a vlogbrothers marathon, you will probably feel inclined to talk very fast and very loud and feel very strongly about lots of things. Their videos are a great reminder that the internet is good for so, so much more than cute boys with British accents or the oft-mentioned funny cat videos (although I like both of those things, and the internet certainly has them in abundance). Sometimes it's easy to forget that all of the information known to humankind, literally the accumulated knowledge of the entire world is right here at our fingertips. The vlogbrothers do an amazing job providing entertainment and actual real knowledge at the same time.

You can stalk them here:
vlogbrothers channel
john's tumblr & twitter
hank's tumblr & twitter

-Maya

p.s. there are so so so so many REALLY GOOD vlogbrothers videos, that - believe it or not - I've actually limited myself to including only a few of the best videos in this post. I'll be watching one and see a different one suggested in the sidebar and open it in a new tab and by the time I'm done I have like 84 tiny tabs crammed onto my screen. (And then my computer overheats. I wonder why).